Sent on
March 6, 2020

It might be for the Minors, but we have major hopes for the closed qualifiers this weekend. We're ready for a dog-fight.

ALEX quits Vitality ahead of the Major

Never mind the queen - UKCS needs the hand of God to save them. Though the hand of God is a sore subject over there.

One of their few players, ALEX, has confirmed he will be leaving French team Vitality. Though he's on a French team, he was still doing England proud, apparently, and he admitted in his Twitlonger due to the amount of travel and stress caused by time spent away from home.

English fans can twist it as him wanting to spend more time in England, but realistically, he probably wants to spend less time around French people.

His likely replacement is Misutaaa, who will be replacing ZywOo as the youngest member of the team. He's most famous for having some of the most mindblowing clips around, and if he's even half as good as his montage suggests, he'll already be better then 3/5 of Vitality combined.

apEX spoke about becoming the captain of the team, and neL suggests he'll also be the IGL. We're... skeptical, but at least it's not shox.

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HUNDEN gets the boot

Okay, ALEX was a surprise, but this one was jarring.

If you've ever read the Old Testament, you'd know that the wrath of that God can be brutal. MAD Lions are more than willing to incur the wrath of God by moving him to the bench.

After everything that MAD Lions have achieved in the past few months - well, at least the dramatic rise to second best team in Denmark (despite aizyesque's protests) - they've decided that God HUNDEN wasn't the one to carry them forward.

Even weirder, his replacement is AcilioN.

AcilioN was supposed to be moving to c0ntact, but is now on his way to MAD Lions. The guy did a pretty bang-up job with Copenhagen Flames, but he's not exactly a massive upgrade on HUNDEN. At least we don't think so, but we might end up looking stupid. It wouldn't be the first time.

HUNDEN tweeted out that he is potentially moving to a management role and claimed he's 'very excited' to share information about the future roster for FLASHPOINT.

Cue the 'crying face behind smiling mask' meme.

EU Minor Closed Qualifier madness kicking off

There is a remote, but importantly non-zero, chance of NiP taking on Dignitas for a place in the EU Minor. That enough has us wetting our pants with excitement.

For those of you have been living under a rock, Dignitas is just all the old NiP players with hallzerk thrown in - you didn't think the Swedes would sell you something that didn't require a little assembly, did you?

There is a much higher chance that Dignitas will be taking on fnatic, which would still be an absolute banger. If both teams win their first game, we get a Swedish derby. Swedish derbies are hype.

Danish derbies are also pretty big, and there's plenty of Danish teams to go around in the EU Minor Qualifier. MAD Lions sans HUNDEN will have to show Copenhagen Flames why they need AcilioN*, in two different ways.*

Heroic are another Danish team aiming to set themselves apart from the other Danes, while NaToSaphiX and TENZKI make Nordavind 40% Danish.

OG, SMASH and GODSENT have three things in common - they're all international teams, they're all in the Minor Qualifier, and they're all in capital letters. Presumably, whichever of them doesn't make it through, has to go lower-case. The shame.

The remaining teams of the 16 that gets scythed down to 8, are BIG, Sprout, Movistar Riders, KOVA, Apeks and Heretics. The big names in here are oskar, kioshima, XANTARES and steel, the happy one.

Spray and yay

Orgless, but not hopeless

Canadian outfit Orgless made a shock run to nail down a spot in the first season of Thorin's new gamesh- uh, Counter-Strike league, FLASHPOINT.

The FNS-led team ran away with the last remaining spot by beating Chaos in a, sigh, chaotic game. The final map was full of exciting if slightly bizarre rounds, with this 1v3 from yay kind of summing it all up.

Infinite and Subroza were the heavy hitters in the final series, and both of them were well-known as potentially quality players, with one being linked to C9 and the other standing in at one point. That said, few people expected them to make it all the way to FLASHPOINT.

They'll be joined by BIG, who realistically, would have been disappointed not to make it.

BIG crushed DETONA, HAVU and AVEZ (seriously, what is with all these capital letters today) all 2-0 to coast all the way through. syrsoN showed why he was the pick-up for BIG after smooya - who lost with Chaos - was removed, dropping 51 in two maps in the deciding game.

Envy announced they will be the 7th founding member of FLASHPOINT, which starts to fill out a pretty uninspiring list of teams. Where have all the good teams gone..?

Oh, here's all the good teams

  • No wonder Thorin can't find any good founding members - they're all in the ESL Pro League groups. NaVi vs fnatic or Envy vs C9? Tough choice.
  • Former female CS pro, and former girlfriend of MiBR player fer, shAy has been sentenced to 116 years in prison (which she might not have to honour, oddly enough). Maybe by then MiBR will be 'back'.
  • Poor Astralis - not only did they get destroyed on the server, now they're getting roasted on reddit. This dope drawing from Mikacheew says it all.
  • Chinese veterans DD and captainMo will likely retire after the Major.
  • We found something cool. Artist Aram Bartholl made a replica structure of the old de_dust. Why? We don't know. But it's definitely cool.